Ups and downs
Last week I was in Kiev, working with someone who has been kind enough to provide me with an opportunity to assist her project. I also had some follow-up medical stuff to do (seems never ending…). I was also fortunate enough to be able to eat pizza twice, Korean food once and I even got to eat brownies and tortilla chips when I went to a get-together at an American’s home.
In other words, last week was a pretty good week. Exhausting, but good. It is nice to have weeks like those, because when the bad days or weeks come (and they always do), it is nice to try to hold on to the good ones.
Today was included in the “bad day” category. I received notification of something that was disheartening. While I am not putting all of my eggs in one basket as relates to life after Peace Corps, this was regarding something I have wanted to do for a long time. It has an extremely long process and is very competitive, and I made it two steps into the process, but something in my background, test score, or personal essay answers was something they apparently did not want to see, and I did not fit into their box, so I made it no further.
Like I said, it is disappointing. I am still processing.
Like all disappointments in my life, I am sure I will get past this one and move on to the next thing. After all, I try to be forward-looking. When I run into a wall, I look for a window or a door. However, sometimes I stand there for a while before looking for the window, or a door, because, well, it hurts a bit.
It is days like this that I just feel like I wish I knew what my future holds. It is something that I am already thinking about, with less than a year to go in my service. I can’t help it – I don’t want to end up in the same situation I was in before I came to Ukraine. I try not to worry but, well, it is hard not to.
So, a good week, followed by a bit of a Blue Monday. I wonder what tomorrow holds?