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Hibernating

January 23, 2011

As I sit here in my room with my heater on, watching Season 1 of “Californication,” there is snow on the ground outside again (rather than just ice) and more snow is falling. I have absolutely no desire to go outside right now.

Effectively, I am hibernating. As a person who is a bit of a “lone wolf” by nature anyway (though I do enjoy the company of others), I realize the importance of time alone to recharge. After all, I was with people 24 hours a day for two weeks solid, and I am not used to that! So with the exception of having a great night with a couple of friends last night, I have been watching movies, finally getting back online, and mentally recharging.

I also needed time to sort through the latest hit I received. These things somehow continue to take me by surprise, though I wonder why.

I won’t go into detail – I will just say that on Friday morning I received some information that was valuable to have, but illuminated just how vicious others can be – others who do not know a person, but are intimidated by the person nonetheless. Or if intimidate is not the “correct” word, another way to describe it is that people tend to ostracize the person who is not like them. They do anything to make that person feel bad. Usually the person has done no harm to anyone, is kind-hearted, and is trying to do some good. Yet the target is painted on the person’s back, for whatever reason, and the firing ensues.

Pack mentality is amazing. Are people so afraid to have their own voices that they band together to face what one of them decides to make into a common enemy, even though the “enemy” has done nothing wrong? What causes this high-school behavior in adults? It is understandable in teenagers, who are still finding their way to their own identity. It is even understandable (though bullying and violence never is). But for a group of people who are theoretically adults to be led by a weak person to gang up on the strong, well, that is a mystery to me. What causes this behavior – is it some deep-seated fear?

Whatever the reason, I became the target. I’ll be honest, it hurt to hear about the vicious attack. But I won’t let it stop me from being who I am, merely because a group of people who are cowards took the coward’s way to attack.

What I can do is to move on. I know who I am, and for the people who pay attention, they do too. So to the people who did this – I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you are so insecure in who you are, that you need to put so much energy into attacking another person. I feel sorry that instead of choosing to see the positives in people, you try to only see the negatives. I feel sorry for you because instead of reaching out and including people you don’t understand, you target them and ostracize them.

Most of all, I feel sorry because it means that you are missing out on knowing some really wonderful people with these attitudes.

I’ll admit – it hurt. But my hurt will soon pass as I focus on the positives in my life, and the positives that I bring to others. Your hurt will stay until you are able to release such negativity and start spreading light and love instead.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Mom permalink
    January 23, 2011 9:30 am

    Hooray for you! I’m so glad you are comforting yourself and rallying in the face of such meanness. It happens everywhere, remember.
    As you said, someone who is different or represents the unknown is often a target of pack mentality. Stand up straight and be firm in your own knowledge that you are a good person. Be the alpha.
    Some day these people may see how bad their behaviors are. Some won’t change.
    You are an enlightened person and with that goes a heavy burden–that of knowledge against ignorance. But you will go on and definitely into the light.
    Remember you are loved.

  2. Renate Strina permalink
    January 24, 2011 6:54 am

    Hi Karin,

    I’m so sorry that you were bullied by some people! Were you bullied because of your opinion on an issue or because of an action you took or didn’t take? Whatever the reason, I commend you for being strong and looking forward! I like the idea of spreading light & love! Hope you are catching the light & love people are sending your way! Many greetings, Renate

  3. Lisa permalink
    January 24, 2011 9:59 am

    There can be a nugget of value in most things. You found it in this when you said this information was valuable to have. It sounds like you are focusing on how you will use that, not on the rest of the B.S. that it came with. You are strong and know how to move on. Dwellers are dull and you are anything but dull. Yay Karin!

  4. January 24, 2011 9:40 pm

    Yeh for you. Is it not amazing that no matter where you are, the bullies are the same. And I think I really like your mom. Go Mom!!!

  5. Natalie permalink
    January 27, 2011 2:43 pm

    Powerful friend…well said 🙂

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